Corny Cena Phrase #32874247902: Jalapenos=Testicles
RAW started with Alberto del Rio in the ring. He said he could take the booing, but not being disrespected. ADR was not happy about being made fun of after getting AA'd by Cena last week. Del Rio listed off everything he's done so far and said he deserves credit and will not be made fun of.
Suddenly Bret Hart's music hit. Bret said he didn't come out to make fun of ADR, he came in to give him some advice. Bret said when he looks at ADR, he sees a man that doesn't know how to be a WWE Champion. Bret says a real champ busts his butt in the ring every night, and that ADR is a long way away from that. ADR said Bret looked like one of the illegal aliens he hired to clean his house. ADR said he was gonna make an example out of Bret. John Cena interrupted. Cena said ADR must have finally grown a sit of jalapenos. Cena told him to go back to Mexico. Cena said ADR is Champ for only 6 more days, because he's beating ADR at Night of Champions. ADR said why wait? Lets give everybody the match they want to see tonight: Cena vs Ricardo. Cena retorted with this idea: ADR vs Bret for the WWE Title. John Laurinaitis interrupted. He came up with the idea of a tag match. OK opening. Nothing too strong, nothing too horrible. Trying to add more heat to Cena/ADR. Survey Says: 3/5
So Much Potential, Not Given Time
Jack Swagger/Dolph Ziggler vs John Morrison/Alex Riley. Dolph & Morrison start. Bot men make quick tags. Riley hit a spinebuster on Swagger before throwing Dolph to the floor. Riley hit a reverse F-5 on Swagger for the win. Ziggler could have broken the count out but didn't. Too short for anything. Survey Says: 2/5
COO-COO for R-Truth
Josh Matthews asked R-Truth & Miz if there feelings have changed after HHH granted them a tag match. Miz complained about everyone talking about the Punk/HHH stand off. Miz said Punk should change the C.M. in his name to B.S. Truth said he thought HHH made a good decision. Miz asked really? Truth said Ninja please. They walked to the ring. Truth said HHH is COO, that spells COO. If you say it twice, that spells COO-COO. Truth said Miz and him should be in every main event. The two said each other's phrases. Miz/Kofi up next.
The two exchanged offense before going to the outside and leading to another commercial. Back from break Miz had Kofi in a headlock. Kofi fought back with some kicks then hit his springboard crossbody. Miz struck back with a boot to the face. Miz hit the Skull Crushing Finale for the win. Truth & Miz's mic work made the entire segment overall average, otherwise it'd be below average. Survey Says: 3/5
Jerry Lawler Shouldn't Teach People About Personality
Michael McGillicutty asked Jerry Lawler if he knew who his dad was. Lawler said he did, and he doesn't have the same amount of personality his father does. Lawler introduced his partner: Sheamus. Sheamus took out McGillicutty with some chops then a knee lift. Sheamus hit the Brogue Kick, knocking Otunga to the outside, then another Brogue Kick on McGillicutty then a Celtic Cross for the win. Is this going anywhere? At least they're getting Sheamus over. Survey Says: 2/5
Is Bret Just Doing This for the $$$ Now?
ADR/Ricardo vs Cena/Bret. Ricardo tried to fight Cena but failed. He tagged in ADR. Cena went for the AA but Ricardo saved him. ADR tagged Ricardo in as ADR watched on. Cena hit his normal offense before tagging in Bret, who locked in the Sharpshooter for the win. Cena told ADR to keep running all the way to NOC, because at NOC, the Champ is Here! YAWN. Not even a good way to use Bret. Survey Says: 1.5/5
An unnecessarily long 9/11 package narrated by John Cena aired.
Divas. Yawn.
No entrance for Vickie. Kelly hit a Lou Thesz press then spanked her. Stinkface for Vickie. Swagger came out and decked Ziggler, distracting Vickie. Kelly rolled up Vickie for the win. Beth tried to attack Kelly afterwards but got kicked for her efforts. Another yawner. Survey Says: 1/5
An HHH video package was shown.
Mark Henry was interviewed he complained about being looked over for 15 years. He promised Orton would enter his Hall of Pain Sunday.
Mark Henry: The REAL Predator
Orton worked over Cody early. Mark Henry sat on the ramp. Orton walked out to him. Cody hit Orton with a kick to the face into a commercial. Cody had Orton in a chin lock back from break. Orton regained control as Henry walked to the ring. Cody went for CrossRhodes but Orton countered into his mid-air DDT. Henry distracted Orton and the ref, allowing Rhodes to take off his mask to hit Orton with it. Rhodes ht CrossRhodes for the win. Afterwards Henry hit Orton with a chair and raised the World Title in the air. Nice to see Cody pick up the win. Henry continues to look dominant. Survey Says: 2.5/5
Who Bought The Crappy Pipe Bomb?
Punk wanted to start the face off. Punk said he respects HHH, especially for firing Nash. But he doesn't like HHH. Punk said initially HHH only saw Punk as the "Internet Darling" who couldn't hang with Punk. HHH said that changed a little bit. Punk says that guys that only fit HHH's image get along with HHH. HHH said that not just "bodybuilders" don't get over in the WWE. HHH said if Punk wants to use that as an excuse to go ahead. HHH said that when you get the audience on your side, then you matter. Not through whining or complaining.
Punk told the story about how he grabbed his 1st imaginary brass ring. It was when he was cheered in a Survivor Series tag over DX. Punk would rather be hated for what he was then cheered for what he wasn't. HHH reverted back to Punk's Cena story. He said Cena sells out buildings and won over the audience. Sure. HHH said sometimes he's right, sometimes wrong with his opinion. HHH said people weren't chanting Punk's name last year. HHH said you have to bust your ass to get over in this business. But it isn't business anymore, it's personal. HHH is kicking Punk's ass at NOC. Punk said he's going to kick HHH's ass too. Punk used his real name then HHH's real name, and said the reason kicking HHH's ass was gonna be good was, but then his mic was cut off. Another was too. Punk decked HHH with the mic as the show signed off. Lots of stuff being thrown around. Some probably went over people's heads. It was a lot to take in. They tried too hard to sell a personal backstory. The crowd seemed more behind Punk. Survey Says: 3/5
OVERALL
If they were trying to use this show to sell Night of Champions, they did a bad job, especially with Cena/Del Rio. There's zero interest in that match. HHH/Punk is losing intrigue. Usually whoever ends up on their back on RAW wins at the PPV. That's not a good sign for Punk. The mid-card is still below potential, and I don't care about the Divas or Jerry Lawler stuff. Miz, R-Truth, and Punk got this show a 3.
No update to the storyline tracker, because nothing significantly changed tonight.
That's all from me. NFL Week 1 Review tomorrow. Night of Champions Predictions Thursday night.
Also, I will be doing LIVE updates from inside First Niagara Center in Buffalo during Night of Champions. You can check those out exclusively at CreativelyEndeavored.com.
Until next time,
Justin C
Follow Me on Twitter @JCWonka
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